Self-Advocacy - In Life & On the Massage Table
- Emily Brown
- Jul 17
- 2 min read
There’s a common belief many of us have internalized — that being “easygoing” or “low maintenance” is somehow a virtue. That speaking up is a burden. That we should just grit our teeth, smile, and get through it.
But what if we flipped that idea on its head?
You Deserve to Ask for What You Need
Whether it’s in your relationships, your workplace, or your wellness routines, you don’t have to grin and bear it. In fact, learning to ask for what you want — kindly, clearly, and confidently — is a powerful act of self-respect.
And this is especially true in the massage room.
That hour you’ve carved out? It’s yours. It’s a time for restoration, care, and reconnection with your body. You deserve to feel safe, respected, and in control — not just relaxed.
Pain Isn’t Always Progress
We have talked before about the concept of the “good hurt” — that satisfying discomfort you feel when a tight muscle is finally released or a long-held knot is easing out. But there’s a fine line between that and the kind of pain your body sees as a threat.
Everyone’s line is different, and the key is to get really honest with yourself:
Are you holding your breath?
Are you tensing your muscles instead of softening?
Do you feel like you’re enduring rather than receiving?
If the answer is yes — even if you’re trying to push through because you don’t want to offend your therapist — that’s your body telling you something isn’t right.
Your Therapist Wants You to Speak Up
Massage therapists are trained to read body language and adjust based on what they observe. But even the best therapist isn’t a mind reader — especially if you’ve got a great poker face.
They don’t know if that deep breath means “that’s the spot” or “holy hell, this hurts.” They rely on you to let them know what’s helpful and what’s not.
When you speak up, you’re not being difficult — you’re being collaborative. You’re helping them give you a better massage. You’re honoring your own boundaries. You’re practicing the kind of communication that makes every area of life more balanced and respectful.
Self-Advocacy Is Self-Care
In life and in bodywork, the goal isn’t to power through. It’s to tune in. To listen. To choose what serves you.
So if something doesn’t feel right — pressure, temperature, music, technique — say something. Your therapist will thank you. Your nervous system will thank you. And you’ll leave the table feeling more empowered, not just more relaxed.
You deserve that. Every time.
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